Working and learning...

This was really written 3 weeks ago... still working on that procrastination thing.

So, I graduated from yoga school June 28th and I’m up to teaching about 3 classes a week with great feedback every time. It’s certainly down from the 7 or so classes I was teaching in DC, but the numbers will rise, like the carbonation bubbles in a glass of soda water. I’ve gotten referrals from my friend Mellissa for two other yoga studios in Hollywood, and there’s a new studio that just opened on the West Side (closer to where I live) where I’ll be dropping off resumes when I get back from this trip to DC. I have realized that one of the main things I allow to hold me back is marketing. Instead of just making up a simple postcard to advertise my services as a yoga teacher and dropping them off at area businesses, I agonize over how I don’t have the skills to design anything and I let myself get distracted by other things so I can keep putting it off. Ridiculous! And, like all things thus far, repeated in my life over and over again. My acting teacher, for instance, has been talking a lot recently about how we each need to know how we get in our own way. Once we know, we can simply decide, albeit over and over again, not to do it again. Easier said than done, but a simple solution never the less. So, I should just make a damn postcard, print 20 off and hand deliver them. I should also start learning a monologue a week to put up in acting class – the more I do, the easier they will get, and the more confident I will be. So, I’m learning lots and now it’s time to put it all into practice. Just decide. Just do it. Decide. Now.

Despite proctastination and lack of confidence in some areas, I continue to get great opportunities! I filmed a PSA (public service announcement) recently for breast cancer with a group of USC students. Their team, along with 3 others, won grants to cover production costs of their version of a PSA for the Army of Women organization. The directors emailed us all this week with the good news that they’d sent the foundation a rough cut (first draft) of our PSA and the organization wrote back that it’s quality and vision were above and beyond what they’d imagined any of the teams would pull off. Hopefully we’ll win and our PSA will actually air! The next great thing that happened was that I got hired to do background work on the set of General Hospital. I met Gwen Hillier, the GH casting director as a result, and had a great 4 days of filming, hanging out with new people, and getting to see what it’s like to film on a multi-camera day time television set. That would have been fine as is, but I ended up getting bumped up from background to an Under-5 role which I can actually put on my resume. So, I’ve met my goal of having at least 2 tv credits my first year here. Now it’s time to surpass that! Under-5, by the way, is a role with a line that’s less than five words long. I got to say “Augh! Oh, my god!” while riding a ferris wheel into which a car crashed, pinning an evil lawyer to the carnival ride. Good times! From that shoot, I had an audition last night for a short film directed by a guy from Philly who moved to LA with his crew of filmmakers after winning a festival with one of their shorts. All networking, all good. The audition was improve and I got the director and the camerawoman to laugh a couple of times, so we’ll see what happens. As a casting director I met recently said, “Anything you do now for your career is an investment that will come back to you in 10 years.” I have to keep reminding myself that a career in acting is not a sprint. It’s not even a marathon. It’s a loooooooooooong distance run. You just have to keep going, trusting that you’re good enough, believing that there are enough water stops along the way to get you to the end which you know – you just have to know – you’ll find eventually. And, from yoga, abhyasa vairagya – work with consistent and dedicated effort toward your goal, but don’t be so focused on the goal that you miss the joy of the journey, or so set on the goal that you feel like a failure if you don’t make it in this life time. Don’t worry – you’ll have more chances! And, finally, a casting director I know invited me to join her A-List, a list of her favorite actors that she sends occasional emails to when certain opportunities come up, like a last minute casting need or a great agent or manager looking for new clients.

To sum up what the recent months have been about… I’m learning a whole lot about myself, both the good and the, well … let’s not call it the bad, but, rather, the fixable! In this process of learning so much about what I can fix, it’s sometimes hard to remember that there are a lot of parts of me that don’t need fixing. Lesson 1 – I’m in pretty good shape, just as I am, the good and the fixable included. As a result of all this self-inquiry and yoga and acting practice, I’m becoming more aware of, and more sensitive to, the fixable parts of myself. At the same time, as a result of the same work, I’m learning the tools I need to fix those parts of myself. Lesson 2 – My increasing sensitivity to and awareness of my fixable parts is equaled by my growing knowledge of how to fix those parts. And finally, as has happened over and over again the last few months, I’m feeling more and more settled in LA, opportunities continue to present themselves, and I get more and more great feedback from casting directors and other teachers and peers. Lesson 3 – I really am supposed to be here.

As we go forth, may we all have the journeys we need to be strengthened and to feel safe, to teach and to learn, to love and be loved.

Xxo Jewel